As the frazzled hair and sweaty faces in any ID photo taken after a summer UMass campus tour might suggest, we have one hell of a hill. A trip home to the mansion-like brick dormitories at the top of Central is much like summiting a mountain: it requires forethought, preparedness, practice, and perhaps even frequent breaks. Those with the good fortune to live in Brooks or Wheeler hold a comfortable spot at base camp, and even those in Greenough, Chadbourne, and Baker can often manage without sherpas, but it is the unfortunate freshman who must climb the daunting slope of The Hill in humid Amherst springs and icy soy-sauced winters to reach Van Meter or Butterfield.
While the other treacherous terrains at UMass lie closer to the center of campus (the brick-spitting library, for example, or the wind tunnel surrounding it) to be traversed daily by most of the student population, The Hill is a trial particular to the inhabitants of Central and Orchard Hill, thereby setting this residential area blessed with altitude even further apart from the rest of campus. Once one has braved the hill at least twice daily (to return from class, and to return from meals), it is common for the denizens of Central and O-Hill to never want to leave the dorm again. This phenomenon has even spawned a Facebook group: “Sometimes I Don’t Do Stuff Because of The Hill”.
However, in addition to the sweat, tears, pain, and isolation brought on by living atop the hill, there is one perk: the well-toned Butterfield Butt.
This is so funny. I really did chortle out loud. Love the line "and even those in Greenough, Chadbourne, and Baker can often manage without sherpas," the Facebook group and "Butterfield Butt."
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